26 Jan. 2011 Continued

I said this morn, before the shit hit the fans (too much of a mess to be just one, come on, now)... that I would rather have a year of bad days as a writer than one day scrubbing toilets at a theme park, the corner of which only those with the trots and upside down guts seem to use.  I'll take my knocks and bang my head on my desk any day over that.  Well, comp went down this morn, lost all my recent work...  Even after a sweep of the HD, the file and bits were MIA...  and, yes, I still mean what I said!!!  even with that bout of hell, I held true to writing; planned to regroup after a round of sleep...

actually, I was so irate when my spouse got home, I... filled him in of the situation...  the dude said 'uh-huh' and 'well, you've been wanting a new computer, maybe we ought to work on that instead'

(good boy, but..) NO!!! get mad with me, rally the troops, call the peasants, STORM THE CASTLE with me!!!! it's WAR, DAMMIT!!!!!

Gods, I love him, but man...

anyway....

this morn, restarted the comp... again... and found parts it said it erased... Sarcasm!

but I'll take it!!!

(my post on a forum once the smoke cleared...kinda proud of it...)

Re: 

"Depression is anger, without enthusiasm." -- Anonymous
I have to say, I completely agree...  just too drained -- still -- to direct it anywhere...

a member's reply: [The same thing happened to me the other night, and after dropping enough F bombs to take out a third world country,]

oh, man, you nailed it!  the second it locked, I  dropped a TON of 'em.  then,when it was officially lost, I proceeded to level half a continent....

I posted from my cell this morn simply because if I had to touch the comp one more time, I could not ensure (not for a second) its safety...  was this |..| close to seeing if I could punch the screen right off the hinges (wouldn't take much) or tear it open like a book... had an uncle who did that... apparently it's rather therapeutic...

but, by George, it gets better!!!  for my life (today) is sarcasm, pure, unadulterated sarcasm!!  Every god on high has me for entertainment, holy, hell!   and, well, after all of this, why not laugh????  they've got a show, I might as well enjoy the ride...

The morning (my night) of hell finished off a wonderful day.  Progress!  Woot!  and I had been telling a friend, how, even on the worse of days, I would rather be a writer than have any other job on earth... (in walks Murphy)...

Comp goes boom....

crawling back to see the damage this eve, I find ......

not only have I lost my work... bad enough... but it's back!!  The part I was writing, the part I lost 10 years of my life typing (last night felt that long) and another 20 the second I lost it, was in a file off to the side.... but, wait, that's where the 'miracle' ends...

next to that gracious light of sanity... (Murphy, get away!) was another file... one I never knew I had... the part had a mirrored scene I typed about a month ago!  and I never knew I had it!!! (only realized I had typed it when I read over it, and vaguely recalled pieces here and there)... must have been so out of my mind from lack of sleep when I did that, I thought I'd dreamt it!

so, now, yes, the main file is missing what I had worked so hard for... but, in the scraps (for every chap I've written into the main work, I've 5-20 in back story alone, which I keep in two piles off to the side) the piece actually sat waiting -- this morning, the comp could not locate it, even after checking the hard drive -- and with it's brother...

so, yeah, when shelling out the 'F-bombs' be careful, for they tend to have a boomerang feature.  Which the gods tend to flip on and off at will.

(face plants desk) mumbles: *gods, I love being a writer.... it's so much fun....*